hard hitting when I drafted it, but my remarks on Prime Minister Brown being more popular in Afghanistan than in the UK were particularly well received. I appreciate that lengthy market reports can be a bind to wade through, but with so much happening it is difficult to keep them short.

I still maintain my stance that Governments bailing out or nationalising banks is wrong. Emergency legislation needs to be drafted on both sides of the Atlantic to make it a criminal offence lending to people in trouble.

I also believe shareholders of Lehman Brothers, HBOS and now Bradford & Bingley should be able to successfully prosecute and recoup fat cat salaries from executives who got the bank into trouble through reckless and amoral lending policies. Our Prime Minister should frankly find the nearest handsome cab and vamoose to the highlands (up the A1 passed Newcastle over Hadrian's Wall and your home mate!!) This stagnant oaf promised the country there would never be another boom or bust period under New Labour. In a bygone era seeing him on the treadmill at Reading jail would be justified. Our Prime Minister just happened to be in the right place at the right time at No. 11 Downing Street with a high profile charmer residing at No. 10 Downing Street.

A former Chancellor Lord Lamont got it all wrong in the early 80's and was soon thereafter despatched to oblivion or worse.

My only problem is who would make a better Prime Minister in the near future. If he does well at Newcastle F.C. perhaps my cousin Joe Kinnear would consider the job, it's closer to his N.W. London home than Tyneside. The Allsuch family are all very proud of Joe who has been married to our first cousin Bonnie for many happy years. The reason for nominating Joe is that he always gives it to you straight. Chairman and employees at Nottingham, Wimbledon and Luton will testify to that. Not only was he a superb full back at Tottenham (and bare in mind most Allsuch's support Arsenal) he was also an Eire International.

He knows his craft which he learnt literally from grass roots level. Obviously I know cousin Joe well, but I would rather see him giving a group of toffee nosed bankers what for than Mr Brown. Let's wait and see. A little like how Newcastle has been playing since the season started the property market relies on confidence. I believe a couple of sound performances and Joe's team will move up the table.

WELL DONE THE MEDIA

One must give full marks to the press for continually attempting to push the market down. Do all newspaper reporters live in communes in Notting Hill Gate or if not they should realise that their random and lurid reporting is simply depressing most people and their own properties.

Yes, you can still get a mortgage (although not for 115%).
No , property prices are not going to drop 20% in 2009.
No , we are not heading for a 10 year recession.

For example well over 50% of my buyers are trading up. Well it is the most simple arithmetic that when a market is flat or falling the differential between what you sell for and what you buy for is significantly closer. Not complicated?

If you are trading down, again not complicated. Sell and move into rented and wait and see. If you have a really large property and need to trade down its really a no brainer. Go for it.

We have had an interesting month at Barry Allsuch & Co. I think in August we had some very false barometer as August is the traditional holiday month whether it be Miami or Margate families will go away. We have had a simply cracking September.

My staff have been brilliant. They have been single minded and really focused. Our vendors have been hugely appreciative. Having been through three property slumps I believe I have a unique insight in how to sell properties in a difficult market.

Tips and guidance are given to clients and it is slowly working. These tips are our trade secrets as I am reliably informed that nearly all our competitors (some friendly, some hostile) avidly read my reports so telling secrets are reserved for my clients. Both sales offices were set sales targets by me.

My managers initially moaned and argued that my targets were unrealistic and then promptly went out and despite themselves beat the targets.

Rushmoor, The Warren - Situated in tranquil location with greenbelt vista and plans for extension.

Canons Close - Superbly presented and well located for village centre.

Oakridge Avenue   - Wonderfully located on village edge with large gardens and enormous potential.

RENTALS GOES INTO ORBIT

Our rentals office is now threatening to remain open 24/7. Martin and Miriam have enlisted the help of Elstree negotiator, Ian Allsuch, as they become busier and busier. With new applicants and properties swarming in renewals and management to deal with, my brother is now looking for a new person to join his team. He has two reservations, they must be hard working and experienced in the lettings and rental field. (No ex New Labour ministers need apply).

To give credit to Martin and Miriam, they have worked very closely for many years and defying all the credit crunch odds, have built up a superb business that we are all proud of and is the envy of others. Miriam has built up excellent connections with relocation companies and being fluent in many European languages has a sizeable corporate clientele.

KENNEDY PLACE , ELSTREE VILLAGE

Tim Kemp of Banner Homes presenting Joanna Black with her welcome gift pack.

Again this fabulous development is riding the waive of the credit crunch. Clients are moving in and at the time of going to press over 65% of the units are reserved or sold. The developers, Banner Homes, took a pragmatic decision some months ago. They have set the units at prices in tune with market conditions and on certain units have offered part exchanges and stamp duty deals. Behind the scenes what should also be borne in mind is the Banner Homes reputation. Not only do they build superb homes loaded with state of the art features, but they also offer a maintenance service second to none.

With only a few units now remaining I would urge you to rush up to Elstree Village with your cheque book. You won't be disappointed. Once again I would thank you for reading my Market Report.

May I take this opportunity of wishing all clients and readers of the Jewish faith a Healthy New Year and well over the fast.

ARSENAL SOUR GRAPES

I did not like a recent article written by "property expert" Peter Bill in the Evening Standard. Mr Bill appears to be gloating at the questionable fact if Arsenal will make any money on their redevelopment of beloved Highbury. In fact he reckons they may lose a ton.

Is it just me or is it an Anglo Saxon trait that some people don't like seeing others make money, and have great delight seeing them lose money or go bust! Someone considerably wiser than me once tried to explain to me that it may have something to do with the deep rooted class system that may still exist today, in certain quarters. If self made people make money something is dodgy.

If Mr Bill would have researched the subject instead of just grabbing a headline, he would have found out that if Arsenals plans would have gone to schedule they would have made a killing.

The villains in the peace were a group of idiotic left wing councillors at Islington who literally held up the project for years ensuring that Arsenal "missed the market". Right from inception Arsenal offered enormous amounts of space for social housing, but this was not good enough for the agitators.

How do I know this, don't tell anyone but my brothers childhood friend who sat next to him at primary school and at grammar school was Arsenal Football Clubs estate agent and planning consultant. I mention this sorry tale to readers of my report as there really needs to be a shake up with the whole planning system.

Let's pay planning officers more money, let's attract more of them into local government, and let's set stricter time constraints between consultations with developers. Don't get me wrong if a scheme is over intensified or out of character for an area it should be rejected.

There are countless brown field opportunities and dilapidated barns, meeting halls, pubs, etc, all suitable for future redevelopment and once the credit crunch is behind us it will not be long before demand outstrips supply if our planning system isn't radically overhauled.

One final point and I have stood by this for years, greenbelt is greenbelt, end of story.